Most everyone has their life paths and actions affected by the other people in their lives. Their families, their friends or their staff members and in many cases, this is a magnificent thing.
After all, you may want to consider a new job for the chance to work one-on-one with a mentor. Or you might want to consider a move to a new home so that your children can attend a better school.
Setting goals that align with what you want for yourself and your loved ones is not a problem. But sometimes, the influence of people in our slightly outer circle can cause an issue.
Think of the last bad mood or unpleasant situation that was caused because of another person. Maybe you had an employee or co-worker that took up too much of your energy.
Or maybe you overheard a rude comment by a colleague or friend that left you unsettled for longer than you’d care to admit. When this sort of thing happens, it strips you away from your independence, because suddenly you’re allowing others to have an influence on how you feel, or how you react.
So before you become defensive, change your formerly clear path, or otherwise adjust your actions in a way that is solely in response to another person’s unexpected negativity, clear your mind and try these tricks for making yourself independent once again.
When someone rubs us the wrong way, our first instinct is to complain and vent our frustrations to the people who get us our loved ones, friends, and even colleagues who will give us an ear.
But if you do this for too long, you’re concentrating on the problem, and not the solution. So re-focus your energy spent on fuming to doing something about the issue at hand.
A well-applied guilt trip can do a lot of damage, and it makes many people slip, ever-so-gradually, from being independent to being a people pleaser.
You want to make the people you love happy, but this trait doesn’t mean you have to cater to every request that comes to you from people who are marginally in your life.
Learn to say no with graciousness to these unimportant requests, and you’ll strengthen your backbone.
Sometimes one of the most frustrating aspects of an unexpected encounter is that you simply can’t get the rude remark or infraction out of your head.
But the best way to move forward, and leave an unhealthy situation or person behind, is to simply forgive. It can be tricky to do, but remember that it’s not always for the other person it’s for yourself as well.
By extending forgiveness, whether it’s verbally or just in your head, you will have released that person’s power over your mood out of your own volition.
The important thing, above all else, is to never sweat the small stuff. Recognize who’s valuable to you and which views and outlooks matter, and you’ll know when an unexpected criticism or conflict is simply white noise.
How have you learned to stay independent in the past? Let us know in the comments section below!